Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Icing on the Cake

At the moment I seem to be under a fair amount of duress. Between a fulltime (four units a semester) Masters Degree in Theology (thus a spiritual journey as much as academic) and trying to establish a Christian Rehabilitation Centre, a volunteer Street Chaplain, helping within two local churches and an international one (Cambodia), the odd public speaking engagement and leading a men's Bible study, I often get a bit strung out. I don't know why. Oh I forgot, I am also working on a large scale Christian networking website (that's on the side in my free time). A Pastor the other day said to me "Super Jack" you should get a big J on your chest. And yet  I often feel I am not doing enough and find myself on my knees in tears to God.

The land for the rehab centre has had significant problems and I sense a trial, test or persecution (not sure which one to be honest) in the ongoing dealings with it. Thus the pressure often builds to a crescendo where you want to run away to the third world or something. During all of the above God is always there, a loving confidant, encourager and comforter. I couldn't do any of this without God. I would simply be on drugs as I was in the past, unable to face stress unless 'out of it'.

I lost my temper in a theological lecture and stormed out. I didn't agree with what was being said and rather than exploding I left. Much to the lecturer's dismay I might add. Ironically that very morning I had prayed to God and asked Him to help me be gentle. I felt the whole world is against me. I felt alone, persecuted and unable to trust anyone - except God. Thus i wanted the Creator of the universe to drop whatever He is doing (cant be that important ) and attend to ME! I surely try God's patience and praise Him with all my heart that He is the God that He is. A God of long suffering, long suffering in putting up with us.

Did God punish me? Did He chastise me? Did He send a message letting me know I was being so unreasonable and demanding and deserve condemnation for losing my temper? No... He anointed me...

By Sunday I had calmed down somewhat. A lot of prayer (hours of it) and plenty of Bible reading. I went to a night Church I love very much, an outreach to the needy and downcast. A meal is provided and a full service. Often God uses me there helping people, however, last Sunday I needed help. I felt like a wounded soldier or a blindfolded boxer in the ring with three opponents. The Pastor came up to me out of the blue and said 'I need to speak to you about what is happening'. I said 'ok', I was humbled enough to accept any help I could get and needed to trust someone!

I explained to him about the Rehab land (metaphorically that was the right hook, the other happenings more like well timed left jabs). At the end he said do you mind if I anoint you with oil? Five intense years in fulltime ministry and nobody has ever offered such a thing. This particular Pastor is a nice man he faces some very real spiritual forces (working with convicts, drug addicts and homeless you always do), thus he is no fool. His request and offer caught me off guard. I accepted sheepishly. He placed a fragrant oil on my forehead and prayed asking for blessing  and rebuked (in Christ's name) any schemes of the Devil coming against me.

I left the Church in wonderment. Thinking 'I've been anointed?'. That doesn't happen everyday. That week I was forgiven for my outburst in class. Thankfully. I then received a high distinction for my Research Proposal on idolatry and addiction. A mature brother came up to me, someone I respect, and said "never give up jack" - I sensed the Holy Spirit speaking through him. Lastly we were invited for a coffee for our final lecture by our Doctorate. When he suggested it I remember thinking maybe I should buy a cake and bring it along?, I then thought No, I will just leave it.
When I walked into the class later that night a Miss Maud's Chocolate Cake was sitting on the table. I stared at it in disbelief. Another student had purchased it. I knew straight away it was God's hand. I had decided I can't be bothered buying one, so God had prompted someone else to. It was literally the icing on the cake for Him comforting me.

I pray someone reads this and may see how real God truly is; so real He became a man, died on a cross for our sin and then sent His Spirit to comfort us. Why did He do that? God is Love, that's why.

God Bless

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