I find myself now totally reliant on God. I have given all my money away to charities and utilised what I had from selling my home to fund my studies. I came to the end of those funds maybe two weeks ago. I used the last of them to pay for a Nursing Degree. I felt God wanting me to acquire medical skills and learn patience from patients. Clever. All of which marching Harvest of Hope onward to the Rehab centre. First phase seems to be in preparing the Director. Armed with a Theological Degree and a Medical one in nursing has seemed such a wise choice. I give all such credit to the Lord Jesus Christ. On my own I am simply not that astute to conceive such a plan. Four months ago I didnt even have an incling to do nursing. I am now enrolled and moving to a little apartment right beside the University. God is amazing.
The prospect of also being financially dependant on God excited me. We try to cocoon our lives and prepare for the worst in all situations. Insurance, Superannuation, Saving Accounts, Employment Insurance. We have a hundred little plans to soften the blow of running out of money. Hardly the necessity to pray "Give us or daily Bread". Thus we miss the opportunity to really see God at work daily in our lives. Providing for those who trust Him rather than themselves.You read of such people as George Muellor, Hudson Taylor or Mother Teresa and you hear of the continuing provision of God for His servants needs. However first you have to give all your possessions to the poor. That does, I confess, take some courage and a willingness to do so. Took me four years in gradual increments. What can I say... I am Scottish? Old habits die hard.
Now, however, I am seeing God's provision like never before. I am having to trust Him to provide, swallow both fear and pride and accept gifts from others. Peter found it hard to accept Christ washing His feet, likewise I find it hard accepting charity. For four years I was the giver rather than receiver. This new journey is exciting.
Today whilst volunteering at a local drop in centre a street kid (no more of 19 or 20) offered me a brand new wallet as a gift. It was a good brand and even had that new leather smell about it. My old wallet is literally falling to pieces. I needed a new one and had asked God for such about a week prior. I even remember thinking I no longer have the funds for such luxuries as a new wallet.
As this young drugged out boy offered me it as a gift I felt the peace to take it and thank him. The fact He was doing something good was good for him also. To feel appreciated. I also sensed this was God giving me a wallet! Thanking him I told him how I really needed one. He was genuionly pleased. I shared the fact that I felt God giving me such with a few others I have come to know in the centre.
When I got home I felt the need to ring the particular store that the wallet's brand belonged to. I wanted to make sure it wasn't stolen and would have returned it. The store was in receivership. It no longer existed. I took it as a sign that the wallet was truly mine. I thanked God from my heart for His kindness and hurriedly emptied my old wallet.
As I did so, going through old bits of paper, I found a cheque I had completely forgotten about. I opened it to see the amount of $989. Uncashed. I had payed for a friend's air ticket months ago and completely forgot about cashing the cheque she had given me in return. I sat amazed and in awe. I was literally just about broke and wondering how I was to pay my rent. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Overwhelmed at the love of God and how true to His word He is.
The money also allows me to continue the sponsorship of two children in Peru and the Philippines. You can never out give God. And the more you give the more you receive. So you can continue being a blessing to others.
Trust God - He will provide and when He does - Share such with others -
"it is better to give than recieve" - Jesus Christ
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